She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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