As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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