Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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