where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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