I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You're a waste of cheezeits
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
