I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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