So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?