a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.