coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize