Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
