Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
