Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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