thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
