Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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