Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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