Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
