I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
