i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
