I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
