There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
