Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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