we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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