So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
