everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
