I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
