I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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