don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
