we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I want a musical about memes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize