Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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