I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
