Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Mom said you looked used
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
