For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
