it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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