I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize