well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
