Your face is a jimmy john
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
