Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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