I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
