Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You were trust falling into bushes
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
