Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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