Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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