Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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