I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
