I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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