Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
