**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think I have vodka in my lungs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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