Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
