Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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