So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everyone says I win the strip club
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
