I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
