They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
