Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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