It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
