In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
