my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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