i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
