i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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