I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
