I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
