i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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