matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
