i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
