She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize