i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
