Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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