She announced her abortion via fbk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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